The Ultimate Pleasure Toy Guide

Whether you’re completely new to pleasure toys, or you already own a few and want to use them more consciously, this guide is for you.

Before we begin, take a breath with me.
Feel your body where you’re sitting or lying.
Let this be a judgement-free, pleasure positive space.

PLEASURE TOYS

Pleasure toys are not about “replacing” anyone.
They’re tools — portals, really — for exploration, sensation, and self-connection.

Using pleasure toys can support:

• deeper body awareness

• more confidence in your desires

• easier communication with partners

• stress release and nervous system regulation

And yes…
they can also help you experience pleasure in ways you may never have felt before.

Some toys awaken internal erogenous zones.
Some help people with disabilities, sexual dysfunctions or hand-free pleasure.
Some are simply convenient when you’re single or short on time.

And sometimes… a toy is just a way to slow down and feel again.

WHO ARE PLEASURE TOYS FOR?

Here’s something I want to say very clearly: Pleasure toys are for everyone.

Regardless of your gender, relationship status or sexual/pleasure orientation.

It’s your body. You are in charge of it.

You don’t need permission from a partner to explore your own pleasure.

The only things to be mindful of are:

• your local laws (yes, there are countries who don’t allow toys or restrict the quantity of it)

• age restrictions

• and travelling with toys internationally

BODY-SAFER TOYS

The pleasure toy industry is not regulated, which means: just because something is sold in a shop or online does not mean it’s safe to put in or on your body.

When I say body-safer, I mean:

• non-toxic

• non-porous

Non-porous materials don’t hold bacteria. They can actually be cleaned properly.

Porous materials, even if they claim to be “non-toxic”, have tiny holes that trap bacteria over time.

MATERIALS TO AVOID

Materials I recommend avoiding or being very cautious with include:

• TPE / TPR

• PVC / Vinyl

• Rubber

• Jelly or gel materials

• “Realistic” looking toys with unclear composition

If the material name sounds vague or strange — trust that instinct. Better be safe!

BODY-SAFER MATERIALS

Materials I personally trust and use include:

✨ 100% silicone
✨ Medical or surgical-grade stainless steel
✨ Borosilicate glass
✨ ABS plastic (for external toy parts)

These materials are non-porous, easier to clean and much safer for long-term use

CLEANING YOUR TOYS

Cleaning doesn’t need to be complicated.

Most silicone, glass, and metal toys can be cleaned with mild, fragrance-free soapy warm water

Some can also be boiled for sterilisation, eg. non-electrical stainless steel or silicone booty toys.

Always:

• clean toys before and after use, in between as needed

• let them fully dry

• inspect them for damage or odour

• also get to know the functions and features of the toys for safety

If something feels off — don’t risk it.

STORING YOUR TOYS

Store toys:

• completely dry

• in breathable bags

• away from direct sunlight

Silicone toys can usually be stored together, but I still keep softer and firmer silicones apart.

And very important: porous toys should never be stored with body-safe material toys.

LUBE & TOYS

Lube is an amazing pleasure tool when its the right one for your body.

In general:

• Water-based lubes are the most versatile, might require more reapplying

• Silicone lubes last longer but are more sticky and aren’t compatible with silicone toys

• Oil-based lubes feel delicious but don’t work with condoms and shouldn’t really be used internally

Always read the ingredient lists! Only because it is available to buy, doesnt mean its safe to use internally. There are a bunch of ingredients to avoid (more on that within my Pleasure Toy Online Course).

It is also important to note pH and osmolarity within water-based lubes.

Your body will tell you if something isn’t right. If it burns, dries you out, or irritates you — stop using it. Pleasure should feel nourishing, not uncomfortable.

CHOOSING A TOY

People ask me all the time: “What’s the best toy?”

And my answer is always the same.

There is no universal best toy.

There is only:
✨ the right toy for you, in this season of your life.

Ask yourself:

• What kind of pleasure do I want to experience?

• Do I want internal, external, or both?

• Do I value quiet, aesthetics, power, discretion?

Let curiosity guide you.

For some inspiration, you can check out all my current favourite pleasure toys, tools and more on my website at pleasurelit.com/links

More than that, I have various discount codes for you so you don’t have to pay full price.

COMMUNICATING WITH PARTNERS

If you want to introduce toys into partnered play:

You don’t convince. You invite.

Start conversations gently:
“I read something interesting about pleasure toys… or I have seen Patricia’s pleasure tool reviews, what do you think?”
“I’m curious about exploring pleasure together in new ways.”

Consent, curiosity, and honesty are a great start.

Now, if this sparked something inside you, I invite you to explore my Pleasure Toy Online Course for more depth for your pleasure tool exploration journey. And explore my favourite toys and tools, along with discount codes for you save on my page.

You are functioning, but you are not feeling…

You hold it all together - your life, career, motherhood, relationships. You keep pushing, managing, and people pleasing. A life on autopilot. Underneath all of it, you ask yourself: is this really it? Your mind rarely stops, you move from one thing to another, rest makes you uncomfortable. Your sleep is broken, your digestion is off, and your mood is unpredictable. Your nervous system is stuck in a survival state. Your body has forgotten how to feel safe, how to soften, to receive, and how to feel good.

What is missing isn't more effort. What is missing is somatic pleasure.

I'm Patricia. I was the good girl, the caretaker, the independent one who looked fine from the outside. I survived abuse, an ED, and a DV marriage. I functioned without actually feeling anything. The shift came when I stopped trying to understand my patterns and started reconnecting to my body. Somatic pleasure changed everything - in my life, motherhood, business, and relationships.

I am the founder of Pleasurelit®, the bestselling author of The Pleasurelit Way, host of the top 5% global podcast Pleasurelit with Patricia and an award winning pleasure explorer and educator. My trauma-informed somatic pleasure alchemy blends somatic healing, nervous system regulation, tantra, breathwork, yoga, and embodied pleasure.

I guide women from high-functioning to feeling radiant, regulated & deliciously turned on.

Pleasurelit. Somatic Pleasure for Women.

Choose your path:

• Join The Pleasurelit Woman Program

• Join The Pleasurelit Circle Online Community

• Explore my Online Courses

• Get my bestselling book The Pleasurelit Way

• Apply for the 1:1 Hour

• Apply for 1:1 Coaching

• Book Patricia for your speaking or workshop

• Access my Women's Pleasure Notes

I would love to hear from you:

• What has resonated?

• What is something new you have learnt?

• What will you implement moving forward?

• Whats your favourite tools and why?

• What makes you curious to explore next?

• Have you got any other questions?

• Anything else you feel called to share

With love & pleasure, Patricia