I'm in Perimenopause and these are the first signs I noticed & what I do now

For a while, I genuinely wondered: What is happening to me? I didn’t feel like myself. I have already done years of inner work. I have learned how to regulate my nervous system, reconnect with my body, work through old patterns and understand myself on a much deeper level. So when things started to feel different, I initially questioned everything. Was I doing too much? Was I stressed? Was something from my past resurfacing? Then I started learning more about perimenopause and suddenly a lot started to make sense.

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"I believe the more we expand our capacity for pleasure, and the more we care for our body, the more deeply in love with ourselves and life we can feel."

I’m Pleasurelit Patricia, Somatic Pleasure & Perimeopause Educator and Coach

After growing up as the good girl, becoming a high achiever and later leaving a DV marriage, I became fascinated by what helps us fall in love with ourselves and life. I have explored hundreds of somatic practices and pleasure tools, alongside more than 20 certifications and years of study across health, nutrition, fitness, somatics, yoga, breathwork, tantra and sexuality.

Through my programs, courses, coaching, and community, I help you build a pleasurable and healthy relationship with your body, so you can feel deliciously in love with yourself and life itself, especially when disconnected or living through perimenopause.

I’m the founder of Pleasurelit®, bestselling author of The Pleasurelit Way, and host of Pleasurelit with Patricia, a top 5% globally ranked podcast. My work has also been recognised with industry awards for my contribution as a pleasure educator and coach in 2024.

The Perimenopause Signs I Started Noticing First

My cycle changed first. My 30/28 days became 26, then 24, and now I even have 21 days cycles.

Along with my shorter cycles came more intensity of each of the phases: tender, fuller, sensitive breasts, ovulation pain, skin breakouts, and mood swings.

But my mood swings got more wild and all over the place. I could start a morning feeling bright and ready, then drop into low and tired within hours, for no clear reason. Then swing back up. It didn’t track with anything in my life or my business, which is actually well balanced right now.

My sleep changed too. I love sleep and usually am able to lock in 8 hours easily. Falling asleep is still working well but staying asleep isn’t so easy anymore. I wake up at 2am or 3am, even 4am in the morning with random memories surfacing, wide awake, and struggling to drop back into sleep. Some nights that means just five hours of sleep total, which isn’t enough.

Then there was brain fog. I forget what I wanted to say mid sentence, I have word finding problems and forget things out shopping. I never used to need to write a shopping list, but now its helpful.

And then there is more bloating, more feeling fluffy and puffy. It’s likely connected to the hormonal shifts themselves.

The one that surprised me the most through was the anxiety around driving my car, especially at busy times, on busy roads. I started to avoid it if I could. And since I spoke about this more openly, I learnt a lot of women started to feel anxiety around driving the car or leaving the house.

And on humid days here on the Sunshine Coast, I would feel a sudden pull to pack up and move somewhere else entirely, the desire to live in the mountains. Somewhere with fresh air, quiet, nature, trees to hug, less cars.

And then there are a few more I noticed since recording this episode.

Perimenopause Isn’t a Phase to Survive

Once I understood these signs were part of perimenopause, I actually felt relieved. I’m not broken. This is a new chapter in my life. And with the awareness, something shifted for me.

My mission has never been to just survive and manage anything. It’s to live pleasurelit, turned on by my own life, in every phase of it.

It reminds me of the menstrual cycle itself. There is a phase in that cycle, luteal phase, that many women fight against instead of working with.

Let’s not make perimenopause a phase to survive or manage, let’s bring pleasure into it.

Disclaimer

If you notice any signs or even symptoms that are abnormal for you, it is always recommended to seek appropriate professional and medical help. I’m not a medical professional.

What I’m Prioritising Now

The first thing I prioritised again is my sleep. I changed my bed position, created a new evening routine, and started locking in eight and a half hours several nights that week. I feel different when I get a good quality sleep. It just shows it once again.

The next one: Weight lifting. I have trained this way since 2018, when I became a personal trainer, a master trainer and nutrition coach. In perimenopause, resistance training matters even more, for bone density, for muscle, for mood. The days I lift, especially in the morning, I feel strong, I feel good in my body. It sets me up for the day.

Nutrition is an area I’m going deeper into right now, through an additional perimenopause focused certification. But I don’t just focus on healthy nutrition, also the way of how I’m eating. Being fully present to actually taste my food, instead of scrolling on my phone while my body just gets fuelled.

When I feel the sun on my skin, the wind in my hair and move my body outside in nature, it regulates my nervous system. Along with breathwork, yoga, meditation and other somatic tools, I am able to shift from survival state into my regulated state, which is the one I can access my pleasure. All those tools are available within my Pleasurelit Woman Program.

And on a positive note, I noticed that I have more spontaneous desire. My libido has also been more intense. Which I connect to the way I prioritise myself. Because ultimately, all those are portals to pleasure.

Let’s do this together

I will keep sharing about my perimenopause and pleasure journey, alongside conversations with other women about what they have noticed and what has helped them move through it. Let’s live The Pleasurelit Way during perimenopause.

With love & pleasure,
Patricia

Somatic Pleasure & Perimenopause Educator & Coach

*Disclaimer: Please listen to your body and honour your own needs while engaging with these practices and conversations. Not every practice is suitable for every person, every body or every season of life. This content is shared for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical, psychological or therapeutic advice.

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Somatic Pleasure and Perimenopause Educator & Coach