10 signs you are disconnected from pleasure & how to feel more

Do you feel disconnected from your body? from your pleasure? Then this is for you - why you are numb and how to receive and feel more pleasure again safely in your body.

But before we begin, let’s arrive together.

Take a slow breath in through your nose…

and a long, audible sigh out through the mouth.

Again.. breathing in…

and exhaling like you’re letting this year’s tensions leave your body.

Feel your body where it’s supported.

The ground beneath you.

The chair, the bed, the floor.

Just notice how your body feels right now

This space — this moment — is a portal.

Year of the Snake Energy

As we come to the end of this year, especially a year that carries the energy of the snake — shedding, renewal, truth,… many of us are realising something quietly but deeply: I’ve been surviving… but I haven’t been fully inhabiting my body.

The snake doesn’t force growth. It sheds when the skin is no longer aligned. Disconnection is often the sign that it’s time to shed what protected us, but no longer serves us. And if this resonates personally for you — it does for me too — then you’re exactly where you’re meant to be.

I want you to listen not to analyse, but to feel. No judgement. No fixing. Just noticing.

10 Signs of disconnection to pleasure

1. You stay in your head all day, analysing, planning, managing, barely noticing what your body is whispering underneath the noise. You think about feelings but you don’t actually feel them. You know a lot, but sensation feels distant.

2. Pleasure feels like effort or performance. Sex, touch, movement, even rest — they feel like something to do right instead of receive. You struggle with receiving pleasure, support, compliments…

3. You numb more than you soften: Scrolling. Working. Alcohol. Overstimulation. Anything to not feel.

4. Your breath sits high in your chest, shallow and tight, and dropping into a slow exhale feels almost uncomfortable. (Let’s take a slow deep breath again…)

5. You feel chronically tense: grinding your teeth, clench your fists, Jaw, shoulders, pelvis, belly. Digestive issues..

6. Rest feels unsafe or unproductive. Slowing down creates guilt, anxiety, or irritation. Slowness unsettles you. Fast, busy, productive feels safe, while spacious, sensual moments make you restless.

7. You override your needs. You ignore hunger, push past fatigue, silence desire, tell yourself you’ll tend to it later.

8. You’ve lost touch with what truly turns you on – in yourself, in your body, in others, in life itself. You can’t remember feeling deeply turned on by yourself, or life.

9. You’re always the strong one. Leading. Managing. Holding. Being met feels unfamiliar. Sensuality and pleasure are seen as weakness.

10. You don’t feel joy, but you don’t feel much pain either. Touch lands on the surface. You feel it, yet you don’t feel yourself in it. You know there is more..

You are functioning, but you are not feeling…

You hold it all together - your life, career, motherhood, relationships. You keep pushing, managing, and people pleasing. A life on autopilot. Underneath all of it, you ask yourself: is this really it? Your mind rarely stops, you move from one thing to another, rest makes you uncomfortable. Your sleep is broken, your digestion is off, and your mood is unpredictable. Your nervous system is stuck in a survival state. Your body has forgotten how to feel safe, how to soften, to receive, and how to feel good.

What is missing isn't more effort. What is missing is somatic pleasure.

I'm Patricia. I was the good girl, the caretaker, the independent one who looked fine from the outside. I survived abuse, an ED, and a DV marriage. I functioned without actually feeling anything. The shift came when I stopped trying to understand my patterns and started reconnecting to my body. Somatic pleasure changed everything - in my life, motherhood, business, and relationships.

I am the founder of Pleasurelit®, the bestselling author of The Pleasurelit Way, host of the top 5% global podcast Pleasurelit with Patricia and an award winning pleasure explorer and educator. My trauma-informed somatic pleasure alchemy blends somatic healing, nervous system regulation, tantra, breathwork, yoga, and embodied pleasure.

I guide women from high-functioning to feeling radiant, regulated & deliciously turned on.

Pleasurelit. Somatic Pleasure for Women.

Choose your path:

Why This Happens

If you recognised yourself, I want you to hear this clearly: Disconnection is not a failure. It is an intelligent survival response. At some point, your nervous system learned that it wasn’t safe to feel fully.

So, it protected you by numbing, tightening, staying alert, staying productive.

But protection has a season. And now, your body might be whispering: I’m ready to come back alive. Pleasure is regulation. Presence. Aliveness. Truth.

And here’s the key: you don’t think your way back into pleasure. You breathe. You slow down. You listen. You soften.

What You Can Do About It

Start small. Smaller than you think.

1. Begin with a conscious breath daily. Not to release. Not to achieve. But to feel.

2. Self-care: Do something that nourishes you: food, movement, sleep,..

3. Body Safety: Speak a truth. Say No when you mean it. Make small promises to yourself. Explore your body’s yes and no signs.

4. A simple pleasure a day: Maybe its eating your meal mindfully, consciously and sensually. Once conscious touch. A slow sensual movement. Watching the sunrise.

Your Invitation into Pleasurelit

If this episode touched something in you, if your body whispered “yes”, then this is your invitation. Pleasurelit is the path home to your body.

Through conscious breath, movement, sensuality, and nervous system safety. Whether you begin with breathwork, embodiment, tantric practices, or deeper pleasure education you don’t have to do it alone.

Come start your journey with me at Pleasurelit. All the portals are there — waiting for you to step through.

Now, I would love to hear from you:

  • Which sign resonated the most with you right now?

  • Which practice tip will you implement?

One final breath together —

inhaling slowly…

exhale fully.

Sending you lots of love & pleasure,

Patricia

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