How I explained somatic therapy and inner child healing to my daughter

So many high-functioning women move through life carrying invisible imprints from childhood — old hurts, unmet needs, moments when we learnt it wasn’t safe to feel fully. These imprints don’t disappear just because we grow up. They live in the body, shaping how we love, lead, parent, work, and receive.

In this solo episode, I share a recent moment with my daughter that unexpectedly opened a doorway into this work — not in a therapy room, but in the ordinary moment of motherhood.

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You are functioning, but you are not feeling…

You hold it all together - your life, career, motherhood, relationships. You keep pushing, managing, and people pleasing. A life on autopilot. Underneath all of it, you ask yourself: is this really it? Your mind rarely stops, you move from one thing to another, rest makes you uncomfortable. Your sleep is broken, your digestion is off, and your mood is unpredictable. Your nervous system is stuck in a survival state. Your body has forgotten how to feel safe, how to soften, to receive, and how to feel good.

What is missing isn't more effort. What is missing is somatic pleasure.

I'm Patricia. I was the good girl, the caretaker, the independent one who looked fine from the outside. I survived abuse, an ED, and a DV marriage. I functioned without actually feeling anything. The shift came when I stopped trying to understand my patterns and started reconnecting to my body. Somatic pleasure changed everything - in my life, motherhood, business, and relationships.

I am the founder of Pleasurelit®, the bestselling author of The Pleasurelit Way, host of the top 5% global podcast Pleasurelit with Patricia and an award winning pleasure explorer and educator. My trauma-informed somatic pleasure alchemy blends somatic healing, nervous system regulation, tantra, breathwork, yoga, and embodied pleasure.

I guide women from high-functioning to feeling radiant, regulated & deliciously turned on.

Pleasurelit. Somatic Pleasure for Women.

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After watching a reel explaining somatic therapy in child-friendly language, we found ourselves talking about feelings, fears, and emotional pain. About how everyone, children and adults, experiences moments that hurt. About how those hurts can stay in our bodies long after the moment has passed.

That honesty softened something in her.

She didn’t feel broken. She didn’t feel alone. She felt seen.

And that is where healing begins.

We spoke about what we call our “little helpers” now — the protective parts of us that formed when we were small.

The voice that says don’t try. Don’t trust. Don’t feel too much. Stay safe. Stay small. Stay in control.

These helpers are never the enemy. They are brilliant survival strategies created by a nervous system doing its best to protect a tender heart and body.

When a child experiences pain, let’s say eg. a fall, rejection, fear, loss, a protective part often steps in to prevent that pain from happening again. But as we grow, those same protectors can become overactive, and with that they can limit our joy, pleasure, risk, and aliveness.

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I shared with her that I have these parts too. That even grown-ups feel scared sometimes.

Instead of trying to silence these voices, we can turn toward them with curiosity.

When anxiety or fear rises, pause.
Notice the voice or “the little helper”.
Ask it what it’s trying to protect.

Thank it for doing its job.
Let it know you are here now.
That the adult you is safe.

This is the essence of inner child work, not through reliving the past, but re-parenting the present.

Our conversation also reminded me how powerful it is to give children language for their inner world early. When we speak openly about emotions, we create a space where feelings don’t have to hide. Where pain isn’t shameful. Where vulnerability is safe.

There are so many tools easily accessible now that can become bridges into these deeper topics.

Because when children learn that emotions are welcome, they don’t have to spend decades disconnecting from themselves… only to try to find their way back home later.

Let’s give our next generation emotional literacy — the ability to feel, name, process, and move through experiences without shutting down or armouring up.

And that begins with our own healing.

The more we tend to our own inner child, the safer our children feel to be fully themselves. The more capacity we build to feel, the more space we create for them to feel too.

Inner child healing isn’t just personal work. It’s generational work.

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Thank you. With love & pleasure, Patricia

For educational and informative purposes only

We would love to hear from you:

• What resonated with your from this conversation?

• What has been your experience with inner child work?

• What are some of your “little helpers” you created over time?

• What do you feel called to share?